What is the difference between consensual sex and rape?

     
                           

What is the difference between consensual sex and rape?

Sounds like a simple enough question doesn’t it? It isn’t.

For some people, the answer to this question is easy; two people choosing to engage in a sexual relationship equals to consensual sex, as opposed to a situation where one person is forced to have sex which is rape. However, the seemingly clear distinction is often not as simple as one would think, especially when it comes to victims of human trafficking.

Victims of human trafficking frequently come from vulnerable situations of poverty, violence, physical and sexual abuse, all looking for a better future. In this context, often, the person (girl or boy, man or women) has been shown by people around them that their bodies exist for another person’s pleasure, and that they do not have a say in the matter. With this in mind, the distinction between consensual sex and rape is not as clear. When we speak to people who have been trafficked, they often do not talk about the sexual or physical abuse, but the money that has been withheld from them.

Here are some questions that can make the distinction between consensual sex and rape clearer;

If a person did not want to have sex but was made to is that rape? YES
If a person does not want to have sex but doesn’t think they can say no is that rape? YES
If a person was forced to have sex but did not fight back, is that rape? YES
Is forced sex in a marital relationship rape? YES
Is sex with a minor rape? YES
If the person who forced you someone you know, is it still rape? YES
Is forcing a sex worker to have sex rape? YES


Consent means that both people in a sexual encounter must agree to it, and either person may decide at any time that they no longer consent and want to stop the activity.
Consenting to one behaviour does not obligate you to consent to any other behaviours. Consenting on one occasion also does not obligate you to consent on any other occasion.

Rape is a serious matter that can leave a person suffering, often in silence, with painful physical and psychological effects. The person may feel frightened, guilty, angry, ashamed, sad, hurt, and may have problems eating and sleeping. The first step in dealing with these difficult feelings is knowing what rape is and that it is never the fault of the victim.

It does not matter if they dressed a certain way, at a certain place, drunk, alone, or flirting.

Rape is never okay and it is never the fault of the victim.

Non-consensual sex is rape, and rape is a crime.

If you are a survivor of sexual assault, remember that with time, and support, it is possible to heal. You have survived the hardest part on your own and you do not have to do the rest alone.
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